Movie aside, that day I wasn't in the best mood... I got to the theater and sat down. The movie started, and I was starting to relax when all of a sudden I hear people whispering... whispering during a movie is fine, but today I was a little more on edge and it wasn't going to fly... The couple just a few seats down were the culprits. I sat there getting more and more annoyed as they whispered more and more. I glance over hoping that an evil little glare would shut them up. Right then was when I saw it; the way they looked at each other, the way they touched... they were happy, not only that but they were happy TOGETHER. Growing up this wasn't a normal thing to see, coming from a family where showing emotions wasn't the "normal". Don't get me wrong, I've seen people who love each other interact, but I never took the time to actually analyze it. Analyzing it now I realize, I want that! I want someone that I can love! (And show it!!) Someone who takes me the way I am! Someone I can be my whole self with! Someone to care for, hold, dance with, sing with, play with, cuddle with, and just BE with... and... and ... and... Okay, starting to sound a little desperate. Trust me, I'm not! I love my "me time", but hey, i'm just saying it could be nice to have some "we time".
I started this blog as a way to express myself, and to let you know what goes through my head on a day to day basis. I hope you enjoy it and please, if you like something, hate something, hope for something, or just want to say something, PLEASE COMMENT!!! I would love to hear what you think or have to say! Cheers!
Hey Christien,
ReplyDeleteLucky me! I get to be the first one to write a comment on your blog! So here's my comment:
Good for you! A blog is scary. It's the place you end up sharing the things that you really want to say out loud--but don't--because you are too afraid you will hurt someone else or even hurt yourself. So you end up sharing all your hopes, fears, dreams and frustrations on a blog with some secret desire that someone will actually read your thoughts and understand for just one second who you are. The you that hasn't been censored by that filter that stops you from actually saying or doing the things that you really want to say or do. The you that that isn't afraid to admit that you cry yourself to sleep sometimes. The you that doesn't have it all put together like so many think. The you that isn't perfect. The you that is just--you.
Christien, as you go through this journey of blogging (small picture) or life (big picture), remember that your worth is amazing. Often, we forget that. We worry about what everyone else thinks. And more often than not, we are our biggest and harshest critic. No one grades on such a harsh curve as one grading themselves. It's moments like these in the theater--where you discover something about yourself--something that has been there forever, something that you have learned to repress, something that suddenly hits you so hard in the face that you suddenly are forced to stare it down. Be who you are and love yourself completely. Then get out there and find the things that you want. If it's a relationship where emotion is shown--then get out there and fight for it. If it's a bond with someone who loves you for every part of you--then get out there and look for it. Ultimately, be you. Learn to love yourself completely and fight for the dreams, hopes, people and things that you love. Blogging (little picture) or life (big picture) is a great adventure--and you have so much to offer!
Scott!
DeleteCongratulations on being the first! And thank you for commenting! Also, you are completely right! Blogging is scary! As a matter of fact before I posted this on Facebook I had my mom read it and tell me it wasn't stupid. :)
I have to be honest with you, this isn't really my first time. I started one once before, it was called "Clogged Vents". It was exactly that, a place where I could "vent" and get everything out there! Not that anyone would be reading it, but honestly, it helped me through so much! I said goodbye to that blog just recently when I deleted it because it was hard to look at. It was a blog where everything was out on the table. (Well, almost everything.) It was all of my thoughts about the divorce, and pretty much everything I have had to go through the past two to three years.
I wanted to start this one because it's time to get myself out there again. Let people know the "Christien" I do.
Thank you so much for the kind words and the encouragement! It's good to know that I have people out there on the sidelines rooting me on!
Know that I'm one of your many #1 fans--always here rooting for you!
DeleteI'm with Scott. You have a TON to offer. Basically, you're a big deal. And I'm really glad you started a blog. In my experience, writing is one of the best ways to discover oneself.
ReplyDeleteOh Jo! I just love you so much! Thank you!
DeleteCheers to that Jo!
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